The last few weeks have been absolutely crazy for me at work. A HUGE project due. With high stakes, because if it isn’t done on time, all sales come to crushing stop. Yeah, just a little pressure. Then a week later, Convention! Which means numbers to pull and presentations to write. No sooner does that end, and I am thrown full force into and ISO audit. Since we are a new division, none of our procedures have been put into ISO format, and I have a lot of work ahead of me. (In case you are wondering, ISO 9001:2008 is a quality management system, and its a huge deal in the manufacturing world).
I hate being stressed.
My typical response is “I choose not to participate”. I plan ahead. I even plan in “extra” time at the ending for the crazies. When there is a lot to do, I just take a deep breathe, say a prayer, put together a quick plan, and dive in to complete the most important task, eliminating the non-essentials, and tackling it one step at a time.
Determined to win. I am a planner who thrives under pressure.
But this one got the better of me. Poor planning on the part of others meant that I got roped into a number of things at the last minute. And I found myself repeating over and over the lessons that God has taught me over the years. Wishing that I could just once and for all master PEACE. And finding myself falling amazingly short.
So I found myself rising even earlier than normal, determined to pray. Instead I spent half the time making lists in my head of everything that I needed to do. More restless when I finished praying than when I started.
One day, determined for a bit of sanity, I shut my office door at lunch. I sat down on the floor where no one could see me if they peaked in through the window or opened the door, and I read a chapter of Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray. Great book! (And its in the public domain, so you can get the ebook for free).
And I heard Him telling me that there is more to this life.
It’s okay if I don’t pass this test. He never expected me to do it perfectly. I am the foolish one who seems surprised when I find myself on my face again.
I got through it. My daughter may have puked as I was walking out the door to catch a plane, and I may have been up until 10 PM drafting contracts in between convention sessions. I may have even shed a tear or two. But my God got me through.
He always does. It’s me that forgets.
It’s not about me,
what I can do,
or even about how “I” can remain in
in the midst of the storm.
It’s about Him.
It’s always been about Him.
“Seek peace and pursue it” Psalm 34:14b