I was recently asked to speak on Psalm 45. When I got the email I seriously thought it was a typo, because I could not figure out how on earth one might relate this scripture to their life. I pulled out commentaries, read it in about 5 different versions, and still
I. Just. Could. Not. Relate.
First off, it’s a love song. I am not a romantic in any way shape or form. In fact, I am rather annoyed by all that mushy gushy stuff. If my husband came home with a dozen red roses, I would look at him wondering if he even knew me. (Now if he had purchased, and planted, a dozen organic pre-started vegetable seedlings, I might just start crying right then and there).
But a love song? That is not my love language, to say the least.
But I am determined. So I wrestled with the scripture, trying to find whatever it was that I was missing. I’m college educated, I can figure this out! And then I did…
I wanted the scripture to say more than it did.
How might one be worthy of the bridegroom? How might one become righteous and avoid wickedness?
Because deep down, I wanted it to contain a top 10 list on how to be righteous and 7 sure fire ways to avoid wickedness.
And not only did I want the list, but I wanted the list to include things that I could actually accomplish and cross off. None of this “be holy every day of your life for the rest of your life until the day you die” type of things, rather something like, “say something nice to neighbor at 7:00 PM on April 27th”. Great, done, check. 9 more to go.
But it doesn’t work that way.
While I was wrestling with this, God recalled to mind, words recently spoken at a day retreat:
Sometimes what we fear
isn’t that He doesn’t love us,
but that He does love us.
And in an instant, I realized where my journey was going to take me. I was going to have to go down this mushy gushy path, something I typically try to avoid. And I was mad at for being asked to share on this particular scripture. Because approaching the throne of Christ can be a scary thing. I do not like to be vulnerable. For He’s not a tame lion you know. But He is good.
So then my question became, how does one become worthy of the bridegroom? How does one truly become righteous? Not like a self-righteous, Pharisee. But truly righteous in the eyes of God?
And so my Lenten journey had begun…