I mostly write about things that I have worked through already. Partly because I do not like sharing my imperfections with the whole world, but mostly because it is harder to articulate when you are working things through.
When God works on something in me, it does not tend to be one big bang – but rather months, even years of meditating on His word, seeking His face, sorting through what He is trying to teach me.
So for a change, I will try to articulate the thoughts dancing in my mind, the very things I find myself meditating on, as I try and work through them.
I find myself drawn to the parable of the sower. I have read this scripture a million times, yet Matthew 13: 8 stands out to me:
“Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop–a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”
- I never thought about that!
- Why are some 100 fold and others 30?
- How can I yield 100 fold?
- Does it break God’s heart if we could yield 100 fold, but we settle for 2 or 10 or even 30 fold?
- Wait a minute, maybe not – 100 fold means a lot of work (i.e. sowing with tears).
- How can I help spur others on towards 100 fold (it is more fun if you do not walk the journey alone)?
- Is this the true problem with the church today? We are content to hide our one bag so that it will not get lost rather than take the risk of investing it, trying to bring forth 5 fold, 10 fold, 100.
- I know I cannot do these things, only Christ through me. Not by my might, but by His.
1 Timothy 4:6-16 seems to be the answer to the above. But then I find thoughts dancing in my mind over verse 15:
“Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress.”
- What does it mean to immerse myself in these things more fully?
- I find myself with longings too deep to speak, to totally immerse myself more fully under His will
- Recalling gifts that God gave me a long time ago when I was yet a child, yet I stuffed them and hid them. How do I get the confidence to use them? What if people think I am crazy (they probably do already – haha).
Circling back to His word to me to work on “Rooting out Anger”.
Where does your call for me to work on rooting out anger have to do with this? Did you really want me to read all 500 scriptures on anger? Why not just 100? Why not 60? 30?
Oh…now I see why.
Thoughts dancing inside my head…I am not anxious for the answer, for I know that when it is time, He will show me what it is He has in store. I am patiently waiting.
“Behold, I have much more for you than this” (2 Chronicles 25:9).
Amen. So be it.