He is Hispanic, I am Caucasian. He is from Panama, I am from the U.S. He is Catholic, I am Protestant. He bleeds blue, I bleed green. His vote cancelled out mine in the last election. Could you find two more different people?
Despite it all, maybe even BECAUSE of it all, we have been married over ten years, and I love him with all of my heart.
In our early years of marriage, we had some brutal fights. I would yell. He would bolt. He wondered why I would yell at someone I loved. I wondered why he would leave someone he loved.
Over the years we mellowed out. I stopped yelling. He stopped leaving. We grew closer.
I had noticed a transformation in my husband over the last 18 months. It is like I am married to a different person. When I asked him what had changed.
He told me he had decided to stop fighting with me.
I laughed. Several months ago, I had heard the Lord telling me to stop fighting with my husband about the little things. If he wants to take the longest way to get somewhere, I shut my mouth. I’d rather get there 5 minutes late than be on time and mad (see previous post Being right is over-rated).
Then I heard the Lord speak to me again
You need to do this together.
Separately we had been convicted to stop fighting with one another. Now we needed to tackle this together. God, my husband and me, his wife.
It does not mean that we won’t have disagreements – we will.
It does not mean we won’t irritate each other – we will.
It does not mean we won’t get angry with one another – we will.
It means that rather than fighting, we stay, we talk, we work it out.
It means that we trust the other’s intentions are good.
It means that we work through the issues rather than destroying the other.
It means we INTENTIONALLY work to keep strife out of our life.
It means we let the small stuff go.
It means we fight FOR our marriage, we don’t fight each other.
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And you, how do you fight FOR your marriage?