Posted in Full time Mom, Full time Job, Seek Peace and Pursue it

Unanswered Prayers

“Why aren’t you answering me???!!!!”, I anxiously wondered.  I was newly married, living in a new city, and fervently looking for a teaching job.  June, July, August, September, the months passed and my prayers grew more intense, even frantic.  Still no job offer.

classroom
classroom (Photo credit: evmaiden)

At last I got offered a job teaching English as a Second Language.  Except it was part-time, an hour commute each way, no benefits and a below the poverty level salary.  I was anxious, as once the school year starts the chances of getting a teaching job is slim to none.

Out of desperation, I called a family friend.  He worked for the corporate office of a well-known Franchise System.  I knew they often hired college students as interns.  He told me the best he could do was a two-week project.  I took it.

I stayed just shy of ten years.

It is only now that I can admit the ugly truth – I was a horrible teacher.  I was great at the actual teaching and administrative parts.  I can write awesome interactive lessons.  I was passionate, 100% devoted to my job, and I worked 60-70 hour weeks because I WANTED to do well.

But when it came to classroom management – that is where I got a great big fat F.  I used to YELL, and I mean YELL, every day, all day.  (People who know me now are always surprised when I tell them that, but it is the 100% ugly truth).  I  was always angry.  There was always drama.

My life was not peaceful. 

At my “unanswered prayer job”, no one yelled at me, I did not yell at anyone.  Slowly, over a period of years, the angry me disappeared.  For the first time I felt like I was good, even great at what I did.  I had finally found my stride.

Ten years later it became very evident that it was time to leave my first “corporate” job.  The culture changed, there was no longer opportunities for me to grow.  But I will forever be GRATEFUL for the unanswered prayer that led me there.  I know that if God had answered that prayer how I had wanted Him to answer it, I would have been miserable.

In fact, it is only because of that unanswered prayer that I now have my dream job.  There I get to do what I do best every day!  They literally PAY ME to do what I love and am gifted at, how cool is that?

Dream Job

When you are in the midst of trials it is hard to understand why He does not answer your prayers the way you that you want.  But that does not mean that He isn’t answering.

I know that I can always trust Him to lead me down the right path.  And that path is the best path – the only path – that I want to find myself walking upon.

*     *     *

“Seek peace and pursue it” Psalm 34:14b

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11.

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