Posted in Full time Mom, Full time Job

Out of Balance

I admit it, I was answering work emails while in the delivery room.   One day off and I was back at it again – on a Saturday – from the hospital  – after I just had a cesarean.  THERE IS A PROBLEM HOUSTON!

Two weeks postpartum I wrote a seething email to my boss.  Why were they not emailing me?  Why was I not getting regular updates on what was going on?  I just KNEW it was because I was a woman, and they were trying to oust me out while I had a baby.  

The rational part of me knew that they were being sensitive to my needs.  My boss is a family man, and was just trying to respect my boundaries (which is a good thing!)  Fortunately the rational part of me won, and I did not hit send!

It was not until three weeks postpartum before I stopped compulsively checking my email every 30 minutes (then it was more like every 2-3 hrs).  But then it happened, all of a sudden, I started to RELAX.  At 5 weeks postpartum, a co-worker asked me to help him with a project, and I politely declined.  By three months, I was only checking my email during business hours, and once after-hours.  Progress, little by little.

Why is balance so hard?  I know in my head that I need balance if I am to maintain a PEACEFUL life.  Yet, I so struggle with this, because the reality is, I like my job.  I like being a Mom.  I like being a wife.  I WANT to do it all, but physically I cannot.

I NEED balance if I am to have PEACE

I refuse to accept anything less than a PEACEFUL life.

So I better figure this out – and quick!

And so I found myself pondering this extensively over maternity leave:

How do I balance my longings to be a great wife and mother (the things I love best, which are innately inside me by design), with my driving desires to succeed in my career (which is my gifting, passion and reality)?

#1 – Remembering: God. Family. Work.  In that order.

#2 – Being fully where I am when I am there.  Shut off the phone and computer when at home!

#3 – Arrive on time.  LEAVE on time.  Did you hear me?  LEAVE on time.

#4 – Asking my husband to help more around the house (he said yes!)  Being okay with the mess.

#5 – Limiting our social calendar.  Only do what is peaceful.

#6 – Always be doing something to grow my career (reading, career support groups, etc.)

#7 – This one I am still working out.  I know I am missing something!

How do you working Mommas find balance?

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